Friday, November 21, 2014

Sin City: Defending The Dame


Superhero fatigue has finally invaded my film-viewing psyche.  Even seeing Downey Jr. displaying his trademark Stark-snark in the recent Age of Ultron trailer elicits only a sigh of boredom.  Somehow, things are different in the dark alleys of Sin City.  I was not surprised that Sin City: A Dame to Kill For completely bombed at the box office this summer.  It was about ten years too late, and the meme of the week internet generation had already moved on to bigger and better things.  Nevertheless, the Dame was one of the most refreshing movie experiences of the summer for me despite the sense of deja-vu.  Now that it is available to own, I can saddle up right alongside the deranged Marv or be seduced by Ava and her evil schemes frame by bloody black and white frame. Box office be damned……this is a blu-ray to kill for.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Collector's Radar: The Blob 1988 Blu-Ray


I recently snagged a copy of Twilight Time's (rather unfortunately named company) release of 1988's The Blob on Blu-ray. Limited to a run of only 5000 units, die-hard horror collectors should consider trying to pick this gem up before the price goes really insane on e-bay. I could argue that it already has with some buy it now options going for $70 bucks or more. Limited runs suck, but price gougers suck worse. I'm glad I had mine pre-ordered.

A recent e-bay posting shows The Blob's price continues to ooze north


Is it worth the price? Probably not, but it does feature some of the best practical FX kills the decade would offer as well as a mean ass mullet worn by star Kevin Dillon. 

bad-ass kill


badder-ass mullet









Friday, October 3, 2014

The Return Of The Living Dead: Import Steelbook Blu






5 split-dogs out of 5



In the 80's, punk-rock ruled, the smart zombie owned the graveyard, and even a Nazi could become a hero. With Return of the Living Dead, writer director Dan O' Bannon redefined what a horror movie could be. It was witty, terrifying, and had a soundtrack that showcased some of the best bands the era would offer. Though we only get snippets of such acts like The Cramps, T.S.O.L., Roky Erickson, and many others, their contributions to the film are priceless. I felt I should add this classic to my blu-ray collection just in time for Halloween, but was shocked to learn every U.S. release contains a remixed soundtrack that deviates from the original. Some voices are altered, and a few songs are dialed down or excised from the mix all together. Did George Lucas have something to do with this or what? "It's not a bad question Burt." 

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Sporting A Serious "The Raid 2" Woody Right Now!


This team of action film making professionals have seriously got a product that Hollywood studios can only dream about!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Corey Feldman Launches Kickstarter Campaign To Pay For Mental Health Care


One of America's most beloved actors has finally hit rock bottom and is reaching out for help. He just can't do it alone. Corey Feldman may be primarily known for such timeless hits like Dream A Little Dream and Lost Boys: The Tribe, but the recent release of his head-scratchingly awful music video DUH has many loyal fans questioning his sanity. The video showcases Feldman engaging in truly horrific Michael Jackson mimicry that would make the King of Pop roller over in his grave. But there's good news. After a moment of clarity, the talented thespian has checked in to a treatment facility due to his baffling shenanigans and launched a Kickstarter campaign to help pay his mental health care costs.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Joaquin Phoenix Ruins Recent Critical Raves With I'm Still Her Rap



Joaquin Phoenix's recent film Her is sitting at a 94% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but the enigmatic actor refuses to let that stop him from maintaining any sort of good will with the people. Phoenix was recently spotted performing on a New York City night club stage in unkempt rap persona mode much to the dismay of the large crowd.

Joaquin managed just a few dope lyrics before quickly being ushered off stage by a club bouncer. "I'M STILL A RAP-PER.......MY MOVIE IS CALLED HER......GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW.....IT'S GONNA WIN THE OSK-ER!"

Could he be setting the stage for a potential I'm Still Here sequel? We'll just have to wait with bated breath to find out if Phoenix's rap career will rise from the ashes again.


Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Peter Jackson Rejects Sean Astin Cameo Idea For Final Hobbit Film






Smaug the dragon has set the box office on fire with Peter Jackson's latest visit to Middle Earth, but one former Hobbit isn't too happy with what's in store for the next installment of the prequel trilogy. It was  reported that Sean Astin (AKA Samwise Gamgee) was shot down by Jackson when he requested that his fat Hobbit character make an appearance in the last film to help the actor promote his soon to be released autobiography "There and fat again."

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Why Carrie Needed A Modern Makeover


     There is little dispute that the 1976 film adaptation of Stephen King's Carrie is considered a horror classic, but the tale of a misfit telekinetic teen lashing back against her oppressors desperately needed the makeover treatment. Nothing against Brian De Palma and his beloved split diopter techniques, but some horrible 70's porn musical cues, a cast of "teens" who were almost in their thirties, and the lack of technology to properly showcase the wrath of Carrie's power bring my enjoyment level down a bit these days. Even though Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie are still rock solid as the dysfunctional mother daughter duo, Carrie is so very....dated.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Cauc-Asian Film Nerd Expresses Outrage Towards Spike Lee's Oldboy Trailer



Even though he knew it was inevitable, a Cauc-Asian film nerd hasn't stopped expressing his outrage towards the Spike Lee remake of the beloved Korean classic Oldboy. Originally based on a Japanese comic book, Oldboy is a good old fashioned tale of bloody revenge that premiered its first trailer recently across the web. The Cauc-Asian considers this to be nothing short of blasphemy. "First of all, it's based on a Manga not a comic book," said the angry Cauc-Asian. "Secondly, in Spike Lee's hands the story will just end up being more of a white devil conspiracy thriller rather than a revenge tale! Myself along with many other Cauc-Asian film nerds are firmly taking a stand against tarnishing the legacy of a true cinematic treasure!" We'll just have to see how it all plays out when Spike Lee's Oldboy hits theaters, but in the meantime, here is the controversial trailer in all its redband glory.




Friday, June 21, 2013

Congress Stipulates World War Z Merely A Conflict Not A War



The zombie apocalypse may be nigh, but for now, the U.S. Congress is refusing to make an official declaration of war. A quick search using the ever reliable Wikipedia finds that Congress has not declared war since WWII. Even though a viral pandemic may reduce the world's people to mindless cannibal monsters in a matter of days, the powers that be have only labeled the situation a conflict thus far. But what does this mean for those who are engaging the undead in combat at ground zero?